The philosophy of PUA Lifestyle Coaching including NLP's Neuro-logical levels, being congruent, in rapport with self and others, confidence and self esteem coaching and dealing with approach anxiety
The Philosophy of PUA Lifestyle Coaching
The philosophy of PUA Lifestyle coaching is simple:
"Everyone is unique so we all need a unique solution to help solve our problems"
If you're currently not able to get over certain sticking points such as approach anxiety, shyness, self esteem, confidence, fears, phobias, not feeling worthy or maybe others. It may be the case that you could use some professional and alternative assistance from a fully trained and qualified person, we can help you to succeed.
Typically it will take between 2-4 sessions to overcome most issues and sticking points, and sometimes only one session will be required.
One of the main ways in which PUA life style coaching is different is that we concentrate on your sticking points with a view of helping you get over these. We achieve this through a combination of NLP, positive psychology, trance work and life coaching techniques. These are one-to-one personalized coaching, therapeutic and training sessions with proper support and follow-up, which are geared and adapted towards you and your personal needs and requirements.
Sometimes it's easier to look
at a problem from a different angle, with a different perspective, another feel, with different eyes helping you, and this is where my area of expertise comes in.Basically we are all different and have different needs, drives, wishes, dreams and goals etc and we all have unique and totally different ways of measuring, understanding and acheiveing those things. In essense we all have "the difference that makes the difference" within us and this is idiosyncratic and personal to us. Therefore we offer a service which be totally directed to your individual needs and your goals and desires, to be fulfilles within a timescale and at a sensible and achievable target, all set by you and your abilities.
We believe that to be truly successful in life and in any area that you need to be congruent, aligned and ready and willing to face whatever you fear to achieve the results you want. When talking of being aligned I will use the NLP model called Neuro-logical Levels, this is similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and the system used in the Mystery Method book. Being at whole with one's self, being congruent and aligned will enable you to achieve and succeed at many different things and in many areas of life including with PUA, relationships, with family and friends, work, social life, sports and all others of your personal life.
Neuro-logical levels
Neuro-logical levels are based upon the 5 levels of the whole, they are Identity, Believes & Values, Capabilities, Behaviours and Environment. Beliefs and Values are at the same level. There is sometimes a 6th level for spirit or higher purpose - this I leave to the individual to choice whether they want to include this level. The levels are the order below.
Identity - Who? The Self, "I"
Beliefs - Why? Our Model of the World. They do not have be to be true to be believed
Values - Why? Things that get us motivated, things that get us up in the morning
Capabilities - How, Skills, Strengths, Resources (or lack of)
Behaviours - What? When we interact with the world
Environment - Where? All that isn't our neurology
The Matrix Model
Stimulus - external event or mental activity such as remembering something, which acts as a trigger for some mental or physical activity or action.
Memory Matrix - the framework which holds information. The way the mind forms patterns of memories and uses them to create meaning by comparing the stimulus to find a match.
Emotion - when a "match" is found it generates an emotional reaction.
Response - depending on the emotion and its strength a "though sequence" results and/ or a behaviour, based on its meaning.
Termination - exiting of that behaviour and/or "thought sequence".
Evaluation - unconscious/ cognitive appraisal of the event sequence that confirms or denies its validity - A=B or A=not B.
Some Definitions and Terminology
Approach Anxiety is a fear or phobia of something that hasn't happened. You may feel that you experience it is the 'now' and you do, however all anxieties are fears of something that you haven't actually done yet.
Congruence is a state of becoming aligned, the state of agreement, rapport within oneself.
Rapport = Trust + Comfort.
Definitions of Confidence and Self Esteem
Confidence is defined by how effective a person feels within a specific area or situation.
Self Esteem is defined by how much a person 'likes' themselves; and how worthy they feel of receiving the good things in life.
Shyness can be defined as discomfort and/or fear that can interfere or stop someone reaching their goals and dreams. It can be within a certain context such as work, social settings, with authority figures, meeting new people or members of the opposite sex.
Fear of rejection - this one may seem kind of obvious but it's not because everyone has their own reasons. This can come down so many things potentially that it would be difficult to say what would be the best way to help however it can helped and typically this will come down to a distant and often (or seem ably) unrelated memory or significant emotional event.
Fear of succeeding and being successful - This is actually more usual than you may think and often related to feeling unworthy or having negative experiences in the past.
Feeling contrived - getting caught using material, lines, routines etc - this is quite usual as well and is usually very quick to help with. It will usually come down to a "being in 2 minds" type situation, however and due to this you will sometimes not get the result you thought you wanted - this may sound negative but you will get the decision you really want.
A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself, to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive or negative feedback between belief and behaviour.
Introverts -
Extroverts or the Attitude Preference
Introverts prefer to spend time alone in a world of thoughts and ideas, they prefer to reflect, then act, then reflect again. They become less energized as they act. Being around people draws their energy. They will need time alone to recharge, reflect and relax
Extroverts prefer to be with other people and things, they draw energy from action; and tend to act, then reflect, then act further. They need to be around people and need people to be around for their motivation and energy. If they are alone they become inactive and they decline and slow down.
A total introvert would live in cave or some desert island (a custard tart, sticky toffee pudding or strawberry fool, who knows?) but anyway and because of that fact they wouldn't be reading this. Having said that there's nothing wrong with being introvert.
And a total extrovert would be, being totally annoying by ... well being totally extrovert (i.e. dancing in the office like David Brent, far too much red and /or comedy socks). So praise yourself that you're in-between and all good people are.
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